For Working Dads | Matt Karlsven - Curiosity Expert & Author

Most dads live in quiet tension:

🛠 The Working Dad's Inner Conflict

"I want to be successful at work… but I also want my family to feel me."

"I want my wife to feel supported… but I'm stretched thin."

"I want my kids to remember me as present… but I'm exhausted at the end of the day."

This edition is not about adding more tasks. It is about shifting perspective so that small moments become meaningful ones.

The Real Conflict Isn't Time—It's Attention

Kids don't measure love by minutes. They measure love by:

How Kids Measure Love

👀 Eye contact

😁 Tone of voice

🎧 Undivided attention

👋 Availability when they need you

🤝 How quickly you repair misunderstandings

10 minutes of full attention beats 2 hours of distracted presence. Curiosity helps you identify where attention matters most.

Opening the Door to Presence

Story: The Dad Whose Daughter Thought He Didn't Like Her

Tom worked long hours as an engineer. He thought: "I'm doing this FOR the family." His daughter stopped asking him to play. He assumed she was becoming independent.

One night, while putting her to bed, she said quietly: "I don't ask you to play anymore because you always say 'just a minute' and then forget."

She wasn't accusing him. She was grieving him.

He asked: "What is something I could do that would make you excited to spend time with me?" Her answer was simple: "If you just sat on the couch with me and watched my favorite show."

No big outings. No games. No dramatic enrollment. Just closeness.

That week his routine changed: when he arrived home, he sat down for 10 minutes with no phone—and she leaned into him.

Curiosity opened the door to the version of fatherhood he dreamed of but didn't know how to reach.

The Working Dad Balance Map

⭐ Fill This In

What drains me right now:

(work stress, expectations, financial pressure, fatigue)

What matters deeply that I feel I am neglecting:

(kids, wife, self-care, spiritual life, health)

Moments in the day I could redirect attention:

(driving home, dinner, bedtime, mornings, Saturday mornings)

One thing that makes my family feel loved instantly:

What would make me proud in 10 years:

This turns overwhelm into clarity.

Small Rituals, Big Impact

Story: Saturday Mornings Changed Everything

Adam is a sales manager. Always on the phone. Always on call. He realized weekdays were chaotic.

So he invented something: "Dad and One Kid Saturday Rotation"

Rules: He spends 1 hour with ONE child only. No phones. No multitasking. No errands.

Kids take turns choosing what to do: fly kites, go get donuts, shoot hoops, drive around listening to music, look at cars at dealerships, buy snacks, go fishing at the pond.

Cost = usually $5-$12. His kids talk about it all week.

Do they remember what he bought? No. They remember: "Dad made time specifically for me."

One hour a week changed the emotional climate of his family. Curiosity asks: "What small ritual becomes emotional identity?"

The "Coming Home Reset"

Most dads walk through the door physically but mentally are still at work.

🏠 The Dad Transition Ritual

Before entering house:

Finish lingering thought

Take one deep breath

Decide who you want to be when you walk in

Put phone on silent for 20 minutes

Then enter like this:

"Who needs me right now?"

Not:

"What do I need right now?"

Curiosity transforms transitions. Kids do not need heroic dad—they need entered-the-moment dad.

Companionship Over Coaching

Story: The Dad Who Thought His Son Didn't Like Him

Jake had a 12-year-old son. His son resisted hanging out. Jake assumed: "He's hitting that teenage phase."

Then Jake asked: "What's something you wish I would do more?"

His son said: "You watch me practice and correct me. I just want you to play with me."

Jake froze. He realized: He approached everything as coaching instead of companionship.

Next day: instead of giving feedback—he participated. They laughed. His son said: "This is fun."

Nothing complicated. Just curious presence.

The Busy Dad Time Alchemy Formula

Turn low-quality minutes into high-moment bonding:

🧪 Transform These Moments

🚗 Car rides → "What song should we listen to?" or "Tell me one thing today that was surprising."

🥣 Dinner → "What was your highlight and your low today?"

🏈 TV time → Let kids sit close. Speak kindly about characters.

🛏 Bedtime → 1-minute gratitude story

Small attention becomes identity deposits.

Creative Ideas That Take Almost No Time

Try one of these per week:

💡 Voice Note of Appreciation

Record 12-second voice memo: "I noticed you lined up your shoes—thanks for taking responsibility."

Kids replay these. Years later they still have them.

💡 Dad-Ticket Moments

Make 10 tiny paper tickets: Pizza pass, Dad plays a game, Dad pushes swings, Dad reads story, Dad cooks breakfast, Dad dances in kitchen.

Kids redeem them randomly. You're guaranteeing future presence.

💡 3-Minute Hero Story

At bedtime say: "Tell me when you felt proud today."

Kids associate self-worth with self-awareness.

💡 The Yes Walk

Say: "Walk with me—ask anything and I'll say yes unless illegal or unsafe."

Kids ask for: to run, to climb, to spin, to chase. Freedom becomes bonding.

💡 Dad Coffee Dates

Once a month—one-on-one with each child. Donut + conversation.

= lifetime memory.

The Working Dad Marriage Map

Because being present with kids starts with emotional connection at home.

⭐ Fill This

One way I can support my wife emotionally this week:

Something she silently carries that I can lighten:

One moment when I can intentionally listen:

Something I can ask her:

"What part of your week felt heaviest, and how can I help?"

Small Means Everything

Story: The Dad Who Regretted Missing Small Things

A man at retirement told his son: "The mistake wasn't that I worked hard. The mistake was believing I needed big moments to matter."

He continued: "I skipped little things because I was saving myself for big ones."

But kids remember: 🧃 who packed lunches, 🌧 who stood at their game in rain, 🕺 who danced silly in the kitchen, 🚦 who taught them how to merge lanes, 🥞 who made pancakes on Saturdays

Curiosity says: "What tiny moment today becomes a forever memory?"

When Work Pressure Is Heavy

Use These Perspective Shifts

Instead of: "I need balance."

"What moment matters most today?"

Instead of: "I don't have time."

"What could I do in 3 minutes that matters later?"

Instead of: "I'm failing."

"What would my 80-year-old self praise me for today?"

That last question changes behavior instantly.

Rebuild Balance, Restore Presence, Strengthen Relationships